Yesterday I hit a car. A parked car.
You just laughed I'm sure. And it kind of is funny, I guess, but there wasn't much to it other than I hit a car, I left a note, then we left and went about our day-consisting of taco bell...and then some McDonald's. Sue me. Okay, so I didn't really think twice about hitting the car again yesterday until I was going to sleep and I couldn't get it off my mind. What I kept replaying in my head was that my initial reaction was to blame the person whose car I hit. I blamed someone, someone who wasn't even there, for my mistake. Granted, she was parked on a yellow line but I still have two working eyes that should have seen a big silver car not even a yard away. I used a few words I regret and I am a little concerned with the fact that I never took a second to think about all of this until much much later in the day. It was clearly my fault and I would say it then, but only with a "but" following it with some remark to make it seem not as bad.
I really couldn't shake this off last night and I don't really know why to be honest because from when it happened until this point, I could care less and didn't think much about it. But then it sort of hit me. I was finally putting together what God was trying to get me to understand. It's one of those "there's a lesson learned in everything" type of situations. Other than the fact that I felt stupid for hitting a parked car and learned a lesson of looking over both shoulders when backing out, I didn't even consider the possibility that I could learn something more.
But what I think I have gathered from this and what I think God is trying to hammer into my heart is that we hit things all the time. It isn't always something as ridiculous as a parked car, but it could be hurting someone's feelings or failing to do something when you know it was the right thing to do. We hit road blocks. We mess up a lot. And what I realized last night is that it is okay. It is okay that we mess up. We don't have to blame someone else or something else (like a bad parking job). We can take ownership and move on. It seems too simple and that's because it is simple. But I think the simplicity of it is what makes it hard. Its easy to blame someone else. It's easy to say things to make your wrong look a little better, and most of the time those things that are said aren't very nice. What I think got to me the most about all of this is that I realized that I have such a hard time taking ownership of some of my actions when Jesus took on the responsibility of ownership of every single one of our actions and our mess ups. How nuts. But better yet- how incredible.
So many times we hit these roadblocks and get stuck in them. We wonder why we aren't getting answers or why God isn't answering our prayers. But it comes to a point where we all need to stop waiting for something to happen and actually live out His word and go do. I don't think we are meant to sit around and just hope for the best. I have to remind myself when I hit any sort of road block and catch myself saying "Where's God?" to think "where am I?" It's a big slap in my face but its true- God is always here. I'm the one that strays. So whenever I hit my next car, you better believe that I will be there- relying on Jesus and not on someone else's faults. Someone else's faults won't be with me in heaven one day. Jesus, however, will be.
Right after it happened I asked my friend who was with me what I should do now. Typical boy who loves Taco Bell answered with "you go get a cool ranch doritos locos taco." So we did. You hit something and you move on.
If you read all of this just to find out if I ever heard from the person whose car I hit, I did. She called me and assured me that Ken Nuggent will not be notified and my bank account is safe. And at the end of it all, I made a new friend.
